Thursday, October 27, 2005

update on baby....

Thank you to all who read my post the other day in regards to my friends' friend whom was about to have a baby 3 months early. It seems all of our prayers reached the great unknown, and baby was born .......they didn't lose the baby, he was evidently trying to cry but his little lungs just wouldn't let him, he was however breathing on his own. for those of you who may wonder, his name is Trey...he was 12" long, and weighed in @ 1lb 4oz. very tiny. But HE MADE IT! thank you again for all of your prayers, I think he still needs them though. its going to be a long haul up a steep hill for a while, he needs time. so keep praying guys....
again, thank you!

Franswaaaaaa is coming home, YAY!

Oh i had the most wonderful news last night. My best friend is coming home from california. well, actually cali is home, but her hubby is military.... so when ship pulled into port here in everett, they called here home for nearly 2 years. Frances and I got to be the best of friends while he was out to sea 6 months at a time, and then one day the damn ship headed back to cali. so because of money and costs being so high, she has only been able to come up for a visit one time, but yesterday she called me and informed me that......THEY ARE MOVING BACK. I am sooo excited. her hubby says she just isnt happy there , she needs to be around us here, and he thinks he can find a better job here, now that he's out of the navy. i can't wait. I have missed her so.
gotta run, chores need done don't ya know!!! lol hope ya'all are having as good a day as i am.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Preschooler's pumpkin



I carved this one for W's classroom, all the kids loved it. Who doesnt like nemo and dori? W chose to leave it there for the other class of t/th students to see, then told her teacher she could have it for her house . how sweet is that? such a lovey my lil girl is!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Todays ramblings

well first and foremost i need you my fellow bloggers to please pray for this little gal, she is my best friends friend, i dont even know her, but i have strong feelings about these types of things. this gal needs some extra prayers, i dont know too much about her situation, but it seems she is about to deliver her baby, almost 3 months early, doesnt seem docs are going to be able to prevent it. prayers for her and her new arrival to be are most imperitive, even if you arent religious, at least light a candle for her.... we all hope both mommy and baby are going to be ok.
Randi i wrote this specially for you honey..... hakuna mattata.... i love you hun.
ok onto other things more of a pleasent nature.....
FIELD TRIP TO PUMPKIN PATCH YESTERDAY.......... whooooopeee! man it was fun, all these pre-k kids playin in the mud in middle of pumkkin patch, omg the mud we carried home. lol. we went on a hay ride, that was ok for them, but us older folks, lemme tell ya how much it hurts yer butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont recommend the hay rides. funny how kids think some things are the perverbial "shiznit" when adults think it is so damn stupid. the old man who ran the tractor for the ride, lmao did this little dance while he told the rules of the hayride, and the kids were busting a gut. i didnt think he was so funny, but they sure did. have any of you ever gone on the field trip with the other kids' parent that just drove you mad??? ruining everyones good time with they're bad attitude? well let me just tell you yesterday i could have slugged this woman! her lil man, we'll call him nathan... was trying desperately to have some fun, just be a kid... but everytime he turned around there was the mom from hell right beside him. we'll call her mmmmm, this is a family blog isnt it? lol, we'll call her a witch! lmao.....i have better words to call her but that will have to do.
anyway, i already have a problem with the way this woman treats nathan, but who am i to judge right? so i try desperately to be cordial with her, but she has decided with her 50 year old self, that my 29 yr old self would be a great friend to have (im so nice....lol) MY BAD!!!!!! in being nice and respectful (for everyones sake trust me) i guess i gave her the idea that i liked her, so she proceeded to FOLLOW me everywhere i went ALLLLLLLLL day! how obnoxious, every conversation i had with teacher or parent, she squeezed her 2 cents in, every time i wandered away from her with my group of kids, she followed, i was so annoyed! there was a lot more, but im not going into boring detail.... so we'll jump to the end of the day.........
ok so each parent has a group of kids..... she has not been to much in tune with where her group has been all day, and the rest of us have been picking up her slack, but now its time to leave, and one of her kids' in her group is wandering around aimlessly .... reminding you all that these are pre-schoolers, only 4 yrs old. so i did the only thing i could think would get her goat, i grabbed up her kids and sent them on with the rest of the group to the school bus, it was time to leave, but she had the one little guy still following her around. (rest of group is heading for bus) there must have been 5 or 6 school groups there, and ours alone took up 2 busses. lots of kids right? she was busy trying to make a business deal of the farm donating pumpkins to her church ( i thought this was a school fieldtrip, not a church one, doesnt her phone work to call them instead??) for some sort of function they were going to have. and little man is wandering while she is yapping, and is about to go with a totally different school group on a different bus, where he didnt belong. i went and snatched him up, and headed for our bus, meanwhile this witch has not noticed he is missing!!!!!!!
now i am furious not only with her lack of responsibility, but with the minutes ticking by and she has not returned to bus to see if anyone else had him!
ten minutes later she finally comes aboard the bus, and omg, she didnt even check if any of us had the boy! she assumed he was on the bus. i asked her if she knew where malakai was, oh she says "didnt you guys get him" wtf???? whose group was the kid assigned to? my blood boiled!
i just told her perhaps you should stay home on the next field trip, because i wouldnt trust you to watch my DOG for a minute! and i politely informed the teachers that as long as she was a chaperone, there would not be a single fieldtrip MY daughter would be allowed on without me present! omg, if it had been swapped around and it were my daughter, id kill the bitch, i so badly wanted to chat with malakai's parents, but its not my place to do so, hopefully she wont be on next field trip.... there was a lot of crap, but that seemed to be the one i wanted to bitch about the most, there is a lesson here folks:
NEVER , EVER, EVER trust that your kids are safe just because there is a chaperone or two on a field trip, you never know whose parents are incompetent! and the only ones who really give a shit about your kids is YOU! i am so glad i kept an eye on her group as well, or we could have easily lost that poor lil guy.
ok enuff ..............is enuff!
i hope ya'all are having a wonderful day today, and just as good a week!
i am off to carve some more pumpkins, so far we have a pirate, nemo and dory carved out. if you are looking for some neat templates go to www.pumpkinglow.com they have some really good ones, and some great links as well. happy carving........................

Monday, October 24, 2005

The pumpkin patch

W and I went on the fieldtrip to the pumpkin patch today, we just giot home. since we obtained pumpkins, shes buggin to carve hers, so i will come blog later to tell all........... hope ya'all are enjoying your day....

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A to Z meme

This is a simple A to Z meme... enjoy


A - Age of your first kiss: I was 12 years old, omg my oldest is 11....grrrrrr its gonna start soon
B - Band you are listening to right now: watching the local news right now
C - Crush: Nicholas Cage
D - Dad's name: Robert ..adopted me when i was 3... Michael.. step-dad, Simeon, natural sperm donor...
E - Easiest person to talk to: my friend Kristina, your a great listener, and shoulder and i love you girl!
F - Favorite ice cream: peppermint candy, but seasonally...pumpkin pie ice cream is the best
G - Gummy worms or Gummy bears?: worms of course
H - Hometown: Bellevue, WA
I - Instruments: Viola
J - Junior High: Olympic View (with randi...i love shoes... go read)
K - Kids: 3, JT, Keegan, Winter.....maybe 4, does hubby count ... lol
L - Longest car ride: to the gorge in george with randi and friends for a concert, was so much fun... remember the shower stall randi?? filled it with ice etc. i still have those pics... hahahaha
M - Mom's name: Lynn
N – Nicknames: sweetie, poohbear, shortie, shrugs
O - One wish: hmm, thats one that requires thought, don't know.
P - Phobia: bees. omg bees i will freak out if one comes near me
Q - Quote: remember it was only yesterday that today was tomorrow
R - Reasons to smile: kids, hubby, life in general, family, friends...CHOCOLATE ..lol
S - Scent: pear, watermelon, hubbys cologne, the undenyable scent of a new baby, food cooking
T - Time you woke up today: 5:30am
U - Unknown fact about me: I am very self concious of my weight, since i used to be real skinny , after 3 kids im positive its impossible to be that thin again. its ok though, cuz i am still b-e-a-utiful, as jim carrey puts it. :)
V - Values: i value my friendships, my hubbys loyalty, my kids opinions
W - Worst luck with: landlords, i seem to always get the ones who are slum, never fix anything, etc.
X - X-rays you've had: back, mouth, foot
Y - Years since you've been to church: omg, i was a kid, sooooo hmph! i refuse to do that math.... lol

kids are too funny....

W and I were watching tv yesterday and she looks over at me and says... mama i wish i could go in the tv, thats fun! lol,
okay now I went to W's school to help chart some things this morning, and there were a few other mommies there helping as well. somehow we got into the discussion of gays, and what if your child were gay? then, one of the mommies says i have the best question... my husband asked me this just last week... and she said "if your 13 year old daughter came home and wanted to have a serious discussion with you, would you prefer it to be *mom im pregnant* or *mom im a lesbian* ??" she said she wasnt sure how to respond to that question, my first instinct was to say pregnant, but after sitting and thinking for a few minutes, i had to retract that and say lesbian. i would never want my lil W to start having kids at such a young age, nor would i want her to miss out on everything that comes with being a teenager. i had JT at 17, and even though i was a senior in hs, i missed so much, my prom, being able to date, shit, i lost the ability to just be a teenager. now that i am almost 30, i have certain regrets, like senior prom, being roomies with one of my girlfriends, going to college..... and i am certain i dont want ANY of my kids missing these things. besides the fact it was soooo hard to raise a baby when still a baby myself.
so i ask you my fellow readers, what would you choose? pregnant or lesbian, ??? hard call eh?
So on monday W and myself are going on the class fieldtrip to ..................you guessed it, the pumpkin farm!!! fun fun. we get to go on a hayride, thru a corn maze, oh and thru this little haunted house thing. should be fun, except since we are in the lovely land of rain (washington state) it has been pouring down rain for 3 days now, its gonna be VERY muddy and we dont have gollashes lmao, maybe i can just tie some small garbage bags around her shoes .... omg, that would be toooo funny. but it just might work, lol. ok i dont need ya'all to tell me thats trashy, i wouldn't really do it, but dang if it didn't sound good.
AHHHH i almost forgot, i got tagged for another mame, only got tagged by e mail, sooooooooo i will be posting said meme to blog in next day or two.... watch out, i may tag you next. lol if it wasnt for the fact that we all get to know eachother by these meme's, well then i would look at them as those chain letters..... BUT since its such an easy way to get to know people, hmph!!!! i guess i do them. so just a warning, my long-ass finger could come right up behind you and gently poke ya in the ribs, meaning AHA you been tagged. lol okies, lunch time, bbl take it easy guys, its only wednesday......... friday is on its way! tg!!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

meme time

Three names I go by:
1. mama
2. pooh-bear
3. sweetie
Three screen names I have had:
1. pooh100cr
2 shrugs76
3. tiggersgal
Three physical things I like about myself:
1. my long hair
2. my bellybutton ring...(adds to the beauty that is belly haha)
3. My eyes, i have blue eyes, but one has a brown spot in it.
Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. My height
2. My weight
3. my teeth
Three parts of my heritage:
1. Irish
2.
3.
Three things that scare me:
1. Spiders. big or small, they will all eat me........
2. big rigs on the highway
3. the overwhelming kidnapping, rape and child pornography rates in this country
Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Coffee
2. smokes, bad habit i know
3. my car
Three of my favorite musical artists:
1. little river band
2. the carpenters
3. the dixie chicks
Three of my favorite songs:
1. happy anniversary--lrb
2. trvelin soldier--dixie chicks
3. lady--lrb
Three things I want in a relationship:
1. honesty-trust
2. compassion
3. understanding
Three LIES:
1. I am ok with my weight
2. I have gotten over the troubles from my childhood
3. I have respect for men
Three TRUTHS:
1. I like to help others, food, money , clothing
2. I wish i could go to work
3. I am great with crafts
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
1. beautiful smiles
2. nice rear ends
3. not physical, but great personality
Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. Crochet
2. Gardening ( hmm, seems we have some things in common here mitey mite....)
3. Dancing-- music
Three things I want to do really badly now:
1. move to a bigger home
2. find a new hobby
3. go on a vacation with my kids
Three careers I've considered:
1. i have not.. my career is my kids
2.
3.
Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. the almighty disneyland
2. hawaii
3. australia
Three kid's names I like:
1. Winter
2. Keegan
3. Jamison................ go figure lol, love my kids' names
Three things I want to do before I die:
1. hear im sorry from my mother, along with explanation
2. see my kids get married
3. live a happy life
Three ways that I am stereotypically a boy:
1. i like to work on cars and smell the grease bondo etc.
2. i like to play in the dirt, get muddy, go fishing camping.. etc
3. i HATE shopping malls
Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I love stuffed animals
2. I love flowered and pink clothes
3. I say ouch to many things, all girly like
Three celebrity crushes:
1. montel
2. nicholas cage
3. vanessa maricel. geeeez shes beautiful
Three people that I would like to see post this meme:
1. Randi
2. stormy
3. ficken chingers

LITTLE BITCHY ARE WE???

Alright, so yesterday I was just a smidge pissed off. I have had the worst week and weekend EVER so far as I can tell. First of all, S and myself have been quibbling over what seems like everything. stress is a killer. sometimes I wonder why am I here, is this what life is sposed to be like? so S and I are arguing, and JT... (remember he is 11) gets in the middle of the argument, thereby turning the focus to himself. when someone tries to let him know he is out of line, and this argument is between adults... **gasp** he (jt) tells said adult to "fuck right off" !! OMG what the hell is that? why do these teenagers and pre teens these days think they can behave like little animals all the time? I almost fainted! MY KID JUST SWORE LIKE A SAILOR! ok, so i am now completely taken back, and have no idea what to do about it. i still dont. i must have failed my kids somewhere for them to think, specifically jt ... that it is ok to speak to an adult in that fashion. maybe it has something to do with his living with his bachelor father now, i dunno. but i have to take some blame, i am his mother...... but wtf? he would have never had the balls to say that when he was living here at home. is it a bad thing to feel like giving up on a kid, not saying i would , i just FEEL like it. i have tried so damned hard to get jt on track, to get him focused on school, homework... etc. the important things in his young life right now.... and all he seems to be interested in doing is treating EVERYONE around him like a peon, dirt under his shoes... AND impressing the girls. omg, school = girls.... to him. all he talks about are his girlfriends. and last year he pushed the envelope soooooo far, that we all agreed maybe being at his fathers was a better idea for this school year. it is his last year before going to middle school, his last chance to straighten out. it is a constant fight to get his homework done, i have conversed with the teachers 3 times a week since freakin kindergarten!!!!!!! trying to ensure he gets the work done and passes the grade level. now it seems like his father wont be keeping such good tabs on him, and everything i worked so hard for is down the drain. im not a bad parent, im a concerned one, im not meddling, im trying to ensure he uses responsibility, and learns consequenses for his actions. "FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE IS AN EQUAL REACTION" you know what, there is just too much history here to get into it, i could write a freakin book! lets just say, that i FEEL like giving up on my kid, signing my rights over to his father and washing my hands of all the shit! but what evil person gives up on there kid? im over my head with him, K and W are soooooooo the exact opposite of him, they love school, homework, etc. they follow rules, they listen when spoken to, and they have e level of respect for themselves and others............ what did i do so differently with them, from JT? i can't know!!! i just dont know what to do, i know where my heart is, yet i am so frustrated and angry.......i just want to give up. mitey mite help me, i know you have some insight hun, im gonna pull all my hair out. no wonder i found a couple of grays ...........and shame on me, i plucked them!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i have to go do the dishes, i'll be putting up another mame later, i got tagged again. lol patience is a virtue Caralyn....... remember you were a kid too...........( but was i really this hard on my folks??? )

Sunday, October 16, 2005

well life sure sucks doesnt it?

ok so im really pissy so im not going to write too much ........... but it has been a hell of a week, so maybe tomorrow when i dont feel like driving my car over a fucking cliff i will write more.
take it easy........................ im sure trying to

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

my purity test...

ok, now I have to tell ya'all... that purity test was baaaad!!! I will post a link to it, but my goodness if some of those questions arent a bit um, personal, and innapropriate for anyone else to know the answers to.
My score was 56 %... meaning I am only 56 % pure???? omg, what gives? i though for sure i'd be an angel! especially with the questions given... anyway, busy right now, but I will post a link to the test so ya'all can take it. I would advise you do this test when you have lots of time, and no kids over the shoulders!!!!!
be back to blog a little later... doing the breakfast thing with W. oh, and K sold 156 dollars worth of cookie dough for the school fundraiser this past week, he is very excited!!! and might I add very proud of himself, as I am.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

update

I thought maybe I should post this pic, so newcomers know whom I am speaking of.
left to right ... I am in the black, my oldest son J.T. is next to me, my hubby (Steve) next to him... directly in front of hubby with purple pants on is Winter, my youngest... and standing next to her is Keegan, my middle child. The rest of those people are S sister and her hubby and their kids. this pic is about a year old, but it was a nice pic of family, so here it is. lol. I will post more recent ones soon.
Also I have re-thunk the posting of all my answers to that test.... I think I will simply post my results, and then the test as well so you can right click and copy the test easily. some of those questions ... and mind you I am only to 200 so far, are quite personal!!! but its proving to be fun. I will post as soon as I am finished.

WARNING!!!

I am going to do this purity test thing.. then post it to my blog, when i am finished. it is like 500 questions long, when i post my answers and such i will also post a link where you can do this test as well.... its proving to be a very long and tedious process..... stay tuned...... i don't think im going to turn up very pure with the questions they are asking lololol.

wow! templates suck!!!

well hello there my fellow bloggers. and good morning. what a frikkin night. so here i was screwing with my template, trying to get something on it to work. somehow, my color purple had been lost, and my screen was white, thus making it VERY difficult to read some of my posts, as they were yellow.... hence me retyping the danged hair removal post. anyways, in screwing around and trying to figure out what happened ( NEVER screw with the template and save b4 you know its correct) i was just getting angrier and angrier. So, hubby decides to have a go at it. he gets my OLD link to my blog, saves the template from it, copy and pasted it into my current template....... yay its back to purple. I was happy as snot!!! well guess what......... now i cant post a damn thing. says it posted, says it published, publish thingy SHOWS it as published, but still the post was not there.so now im even more pissed than i was before, specially at hubby since he fucked it up worse than i had, even though he was trying to help. so now im a raging bitch thinking my blog is fucked forever!!!
H tries to be sweet and starts me a new blog, as we have no secrets he knows all names and passwords i use, so he makes a new one. that made me even more in a rage....
ME: why are you trying to force me to start a new blog?
STEVE: sweety im not forcing you to, look its the same name and everything, you just wont have all your old posts.
ME: (being a bitch of course) wtf? i dont want a new blog.
(keep in mind he is only really trying to help me..)
S:ok well look ....see its the same just not with your posts...
ME: well i dont care , i want my same blog, i will get blogger help to help me, turn off my blog!
S: dont talk to me for the rest of the night.
lol .... i guess i was being really bitchy, and this morning i felt bad, im going to have to apologize.... as i figured out how to recover my blog, ..... simply wipe out the template and replace it with a new one!!! however it is much more of a pain in the ass than i thought. i had to go back to www.24fun.com to recover my snow effect, then i had to recover my blogroll, and now i still have to recover my counter at the bottom of my page, although i dunno why i bother... like it matters how many read your blog ....lmao! oh that website i just plugged, omg has sooooo many things, neat things to addy to your template.... you should go check it out!
ok no more bitching!!!!!!!!!!!!!
did any of you watch the amazing race last night? omg, when i saw them running around the park, "the sky is blue" waiting to find the right person holding a briefcase to say back to them "the sea is green" i just roared, that was so funny. i would have gone absolutely mad ... did ya'all see how many people were in that park with briefcases? sheeeeesh!
off for now..........lunchtime!!! whooppeeeeeee lol.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

56 things....

ok here is another dumb mame....
UNIQUE
1. Nervous habits - biting nails,chewing inside of cheek
2. Are you double jointed - yes
3. Can you roll your tongue - yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time - only if done on accident.
5. Can you blow spit bubbles - ewwww, so kindergarten, but yes
6. Can you cross your eyes - what, not everyone is born this way... haha j/k yes i can
7. Tattoos - absolutely not, i am too chickenshit
8. Piercing - yep, tounge (been removed) and belly button
9. Do you make your bed daily - nope, only if i feel like it

CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first -right
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? - yes
12. On the average, how much money do you carry - less than 20 bucks, cmon now i have 3 schoolagers, like i ever have money!
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7 - my watch
14. Favorite piece of clothing - hmmm, right now, its my supergirl jammie pants, next month that may change.

FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it - twirl
16. Have you ever eaten Spam - mmmmm yes fried is best
17. Do you use extra salt on your food - omg, yes i do sometimes isnt that bad!!!
18. How many cereals in your cabinet - 4 right now, 3 kids cereals and of course raisin bran for me
19. What's your favorite beverage -used to be pepsi, but lately its cocoa
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant - um toxic belch... really bad for ya but taco bell is just so damn good!!!
21. Do you cook - lots, love to cook

GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth - twice a day
23. Hair drying method - air dry
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair - yes, want to touch it up lol

MANNERS
25. Do you swear - omg, like a sailor at times, shame on me, gonna hafta make me a cuss jar!
26. Do you ever spit - nope!

FAVORITE
27. Animal - ferrets
28. Food - onions... hubby says so lmao
29. Month -december of course
30. Day - sunday ... day to be completely lazy
31. Cartoon - spongebob squarepants
32. Shoe brand -there are brands?? lol any shoe thats comfy
33. Subject in school - recess. j/k ummm english was always my fav, but its been awhile
34. Color - purple and green for years, but as of late.. pink
35. Sport - swimming
36. TV shows -oh thats a tossup of many reality shows, but my very fav is SURVIVOR, never miss it
37. Thing to do in the spring - plant flowers and gardens
38. Thing to do in the summer - going to the beach and camping
39. Thing to do in the autumn - take in all the pretty colors
40. Thing to do in the winter - play in the snow

IN AND AROUND
41. In the CD player -dixie chicks
42. Person you talk most on the phone?- my mommy. lol
43. Reading - currently.... James Patterson, along came a spider
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors - no lol
45. What color is your bedroom - wood
46. Do you use an alarm clock - yes
47. Window seat or aisle -windowDUMB
48. What's your sleeping position - curled up fetal style
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket - yep!
50. Do you snore - sometimes, everyone snores don't they?
51. Do you sleepwalk - nope
52. Do you talk in your sleep - sometimes
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals - yes i do! im a girl! don't we all?
54. How about with the light on -hell no, dark is nice
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on - tv
56. Last interesting person you met - my newest neighbor, cant figure out if its a male or female... its a wierd one . lmao

Hair removal....again

it has come to my attention that since i have changed the colors around on my blog, some people are having a rough time reading hair removal... so here it is again....

Hair Removal......
All methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough I can figure it out. YA THINK!!! So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my ass (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extrodinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my coochie and stretching down to the inside of my ass cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'M BLIND.... BLINDED FROM PAIN!!!!....Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. SHIT!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that has caused me so much pain. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip but there is no hair on it. Where is the wax??? Slowly I eased my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax . SHIT I peel my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair and then make the next big mistake. Remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to move to do something. So I put my foot down and then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Coochie? Sealed shut. Ass? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "I hope I don' t get the urge to Shit. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? WRONG I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now the only thing worse than having your business glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub in scalding hot water; which by the way doesn't melt the cold wax. So now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. Its a very good conversation starter "So, my ass and cooch are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where is the wax on the ass "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box YEAH Right!! I could be the joke of some one elses night. While we go through various solutions. I result in scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! I then find the most beautiful saving grace.... that is the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. I rub some and scream "IT works!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my dismay...The hair is still there...all of it. So I shaved the shit off. Hell, I'm numb at this point. Then I put the wax back in the medicine cabinet, I may have a mustache that needs work someday.. Next week I'm going to try hair color.......

cool pic


if this isn't a very cool pic ... then I don't know what is. I stumbled on it in someones blog, so i copied and ... here it is.....